Monday, April 26, 2010

The Ariel Cake

Sissy's birthday party yesterday was wonderful! The Party Pets animals were a HUGE hit - Annelise kept leaning over during the presentation and saying, "This is the BEST party of my LIFE!" :-) I promise to post more party pics later this week, but I can't scrap it until I get a few that Wendy & Christa took.

For now: THE CAKE! I've had so many people ask about it, I figured it deserved its own post. :-P

We made a butter almond bundt cake and then stacked it on two springform pan batches of brownies, so the whole cake would be taller for the Ariel doll to stand in the middle. (It needs to rise up to her waistline, so you don't have to put several inches of icing on top to make her dress flow naturally.) We put FROG jam (Fig, Raspberry, Orange, Ginger) as filling in between each layer. I cannot tell you how good that touch of tart fruitiness was in b/t the brownies!

I made homemade buttercream icing and colored it purple to match Ariel's dress. After the cake was covered, I stuck the Ariel doll right down the middle and filled in the bundt hole with the remaining icing. We added a few metallic dragĂ©es to finish her off:

Annelise was most pleased!

...And she did want to clean her new doll up a bit  :-)

My mom came up with the brownie idea, and I think she deserves recognition from the James Beard Foundation for it. Although I loooove chocolate, I'm not big on chocolate cake, and this solves everything! (I like fudgey chocolate, not cakey.) I can't imagine ever thinking a plain, single-flavor cake without a brownie layer is satisfying enough ever again!!!

Carolina Living & Davidson Digiscrapped

Our last week and a half here:

Saturday's reunion at Davidson:

Saturday, April 24, 2010

10-Year College Reunion

I went to my 10-year college reunion today at Davidson! I was actually surprised that the campus looked more different than any of my classmates did!

There's a giant new wildcat sculpture in front of Baker Sports Complex:

Will took this pic of me & Sis with my senior year roomie Melissa de Castrique Thomson. :-)

He also took this one of us with Chase Bringardner & Bill Stoops.

I took the kids inside Baker for a little tour. I showed them how I used to be a "Cat Card Girl" (everyone who came into the sports complex had to show me their ID; very handy for stalking hot guys coming in to work out...and how I really started talking to my future husband!) I showed them the basketball court & explained, "This is where they play when we see them on TV!"

Out front while we waited to take our class picture, Will & Sis played "Wild Recon" (I told you they're obsessed!) in the bushes with Mary Perrin's son, Anderson:

It really was cool to see so many familiar faces back again in the familiar surroundings where we were accustomed to seeing each other; but it didn't quite seem like such a dramatic gathering, since most of us keep up with each other's daily lives on Facebook. (Davidson is a tiny top school - 1,700 students total - so there's 1 degree of separartion max b/t everyone! The tight-knit feeling of community makes up for not having a nationally-ranked football team. :-P Although we *DID* make it to the Elite 8 in the NCAA Tourney year before last!)

It's a great day to be a wildcat!

Final Prep

We took care of the last two major bday preparations today!

Annelise got her special "hair do" this morning:
This is the pinnacle of special princess treatment for her!

And we finished her cake:

Tell me how heavenly this sounds: butter almond bundt cake on top of two layers of brownies!!! (B/c we needed the cake to be taller to get closer to the right height for the doll!) Mmmmm... Can't wait for tomorrow! :-)

We also let her open her bday package from Grandma & Grandpa Blake:

She was ecstatic, and talk about great minds on the same page: Grandma found a bathtime Sleeping Beauty barbie whose clothes & shoes are also molded/painted on, so Annelise can't complain about her "getting nekkid"! :-P Love it!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Annelise's Bday Prep

You may remember what a big deal birthdays are to my kids, and Annelise's 4th is THIS Sunday! Were we not in the middle of a move, we'd have a big princess/knight party with all of her school, dance, & church friends. [Enter monumental mommy guilt.] Since we *are* in the middle of a move, her friends are 13+ hours away, the movers have my castle cake mold packed up, and Daddy can't even come down to be here for her birthday, because it's his last week in his Chicago job, and his $!%@# of a boss won't let him use a vacation day (which he HAS plenty of!) to come back Monday. All things I feel awful about, and all things no one can do anything about.

Soooo, I am bound and determined to make this birthday be as joyous as it would have been! I have been in party planning overdrive; my mom & I did a month's worth of planning, scheduling, and buying yesterday alone! We're going to have a cook out here at my parents' house, but we're also having Mr. Greg from Party Pets come and do an animal presentation! Annelise is really excited, b/c the kids have become so obsessed with nature this last year! (We used our Brookfield Zoo membership to the max last year and hope to get a new membership at our new area zoo, they go nuts over petting zoos, they got to hold an alligator
and ride a giant tortoise

last summer, and their two favorite shows are Wild Recon and Zoboomafoo.)

I broke down and bought goody bag favors for the first time, (I've always made personalized cookies for the kids every year,

but all my special cookie cutters are also packed up with our house.) I got princess activity books and roll-on glitter :-) for the girls and Hotwheels activity books & a car for the boys.

Since my castle cake mold is packed up, we're doing the princess doll cake, (a round cake that looks like the doll's dress w/ a doll stuck in the middle,) and Will got Sissy this Ballerina Ariel today to go in the middle. (BTW - let me recommend this line of princess dolls! It was $5.35 at Walmart - the cheapest Disney or regular Barbie in the store, and the shoes & bodice are molded/painted on, so no lost clothes or shoes!!! Remember, that was Sissy's complaint about her other Ariel Barbie. :-P I am tempted to go buy the others and hide them for Christmas & future bdays! Since the bodice is painted on, that's a lot less icing work to do on the cake.)

I'm not incredibly thrilled with her invitation, but it's still mommy-designed, and I whipped it up in about 15 minutes, so I guess not too shabby:

(I just colored out a few things to post it here, since this blog is public.)
We're inviting my two best friends from growing up & their kids and my parents' neighbors who play with Will & Sis.

So, invitations sent: check. Balloons & favors: check. Entertainment booked: check. Cook-out burgers & hot dogs: check. Ariel/Hotwheels/flower plates & napkins: check. I think we just need to actually bake the cake, and we're set!

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Will Says...

Will: Why do you have to be more than 20 to get married?

Mommy: Because before that, you're supposed to be a kid & have fun. You have a lot of responsibilities when you get married.

Will: I'm lucky that I'm a boy, so I don't have to go to the hospital and have the baby come out, because I bet it's messy!

Spring Break & Easter Digiscrapped

Monday, April 19, 2010

Lighten Up: Storytelling, S'mores, & 98th Bday

I've been laying a lot of my heaviness down here and am SO grateful for all of your support, but there really *IS* a lot of happy, fun stuff happening in our lives right now, aside from this wretched moving ordeal. Let's lighten up!!!

Will drew a story the other night:
"Once, Will and LaLa went to Tweetsie Railroad. They saw Donald Schultz there. He was tracking down snakes on the train. He had found a berg adder, and then there was also a big python."

[Mommy's notes: Tweetsie is one of our favorite family destinations, and Donald Schultz is our kids' herpetologist hero from Wild Recon.]

Being here, we're spending lots of time with my parents' wonderful neighbors. We have always enjoyed hanging out until all hours & making s'mores with them in their backyard firepit. Will just got a new shirt this spring to comemmorate us doing this:
[Will also thinks it's funny to wear this old wig Grandaddo had in his closet for a Halloween party years ago...and it IS hysterical!!!]

Yesterday was my Grandmommy's 98th birthday! I hope I've gotten her genes...

Finally, I need to thank God for banana pudding milkshakes from Cook Out!!! Heavenly...

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Homeless...But Not Hopeless

So we're officially homeless. The owners of the house we chose last weekend (the only decent option) decided they really didn't want to rent it after all, only sell it. Yeah, so thanks for #1 listing it as a rental, and #2 entertaining our offer & stringing us along for an entire week.

After a day full of deep breaths & choked-back tears, I have to go back to what I *know* - that God has a plan for us, and He has something better. Of course we have no clue what that could be right now, but He does, and that helps.

After focusing on that last BarlowGirl song so much, it just so happens that the next song on that same CD is just as perfectly apropos . Please click here or here to listen: "I Believe in Love"

How long will my prayers seem unanswered?
Is there still faith in me to reach the end?
I'm feeling doubt I'm losing faith
But giving up would cost me everything
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining

I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Though I can't see my story's ending

That doesn't mean the dark night has no end
It's only here that I find faith
And learn to trust the one who writes my days
So I'll stand in the pain and silence
And I'll speak to the dark night

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining

I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe
No dark can consume Light
No death greater than this life
We are not forgotten
Hope is found when we say
Even when He is silent

I believe in the sun even when it's not shining

I believe in love even when I don't feel it
And I believe in God even when He is silent
And I, I believe

Music speaks to me like nothing else...

My friends have also offered some good words. One shared a quote from "Ten Guidelines From God"
Once you've given your burdens to Me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in Me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials.I love the "quit trying to take them back" part! How often do we pray & ask God for help, but we still keep churning?

That goes along well with the notion I've personally been trying to implement through this: letting my soul be on vacation. When you have trials, do what you can, give the rest up to God, and let your soul go on vacay! God *wants* to sort our junk out for us, if we'll let Him & just rest. (NOT saying it's easy for us human control freaks, but I'm working on it!)

My friend Amy has been dealing with her own mountain of stress, and she shared this, which is also crazily befitting: Lamentations 3:19-26

19 The thought of my suffering and homelessness
is bitter beyond words.
20 I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
21 Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
24 I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!"

25 The Lord is good to those who depend on him,

to those who search for him.
26 So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.

She also has been focusing on this quote:
Mature faith does not live by answers to prayer, but by prayer.
~R.E.O. White

(Ouch! But, yeah...)

I subscribe to the 411God email devotional, and the last week has had some obvious-yet-opportune reminders, as well:

Philippians 4:13 is one of the most famous verses in the Bible. You know, it's the "I can do all things..." verse. It's a great verse, and the verses that comes just before are pretty sweet too.
Philippians 4:11-13
11 Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. 12 I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 13 For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.
Whatever your situation might be, Paul's words are true: With Christ in your life, you are never in need.

It's easy to feel stressed or worried. Maybe you're jobless, or grocery-less, or car-less. Whatever the situation, don't forget that God cares.
1 Peter 5:6-7
6 So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. 7 Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Worry less and have less to worry about. That's the message here.

Ecclesiastes 11:5
5 Just as you cannot understand the path of the wind or the mystery of a tiny baby growing in its mother's womb, so you cannot understand the activity of God, who does all things.

Edited to add:
From my friend Whitney on FB:
"God's goal for our life is not necessarily peace, comfort, and prosperity. His goal is to shape us into Christ's likeness..." Paraphrase of Charles Stanley

Friday, April 16, 2010

Here's My Life

Our "old" house is packed up, all our stuff will be in storage until we have an address & delivery date to give the movers, (no - we still don't have a house, yet; still waiting for our offer to be either accepted or denied; limbo is apparently my permanent residence,) and I made the 2-day/6-hr-then-7-hr drive home to NC with the kids & the dog while JB stays behind to finish out his job there.

On my drive, I rediscovered a song by my all-time favorite group BarlowGirl that I hadn't heard in about a year and a half. I heard it this time in a whole new way. It voices everything in my head & heart so perfectly...

Please click here or here to listen: "Here's My Life"

Once again I said my goodbyes
To those who I love most

My heart feels that familiar pain
As I long for home
'Cause this road is hard
When I feel so far

God I'm crying out tonight

'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more here's my life
On the day that You called my name
All that I knew changed
I found when I said yes that I'd never be the same
Though the call is hard
You are worth it all

God I'm crying out tonight

'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more

Even when the tears are falling

When I find I fear the calling
You remind me
Words You've spoken over my life
Promises I've yet to see
You comfort me

God I'm crying out tonight
'Cause I've given You my life
But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind
So once more, here's my life

You know, it all boils down to one simple thing: either you believe God has a plan for you or you don't. I do, and I know He's taking care of us. Yeah, things are totally nuts, and no, I would never choose this for myself in a million years; but I know God has a plan that's always going to be better than anything I could come up with. So once more, here's my life...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

8th Anniversary

Today is my & JB's 8th wedding anniversary! We've been together now for 12 years. :-) Even though neither one of us is excited to have spent our anniversary with a giant moving truck, I still wouldn't trade him...even for a Brownie Husband! (A la SNL this Saturday :-P)

Wedding Details (a la FB survey :-P)
1) When was your wedding day?
Saturday, April 13, 2002

2) How was the weather?
It had rained on Friday, but Saturday was nice! Low 70's - perfect Southern spring, with the azaleas in full bloom.

3) Did you get married in a church? Where?
Yes - Davidson College Presbyterian Church - Davidson, NC

4) How many in your wedding party?
20 - 7 bridesmaids, 7 groomsmen, 4 ushers, us - HUGE!

5) How many guests were invited to your wedding?
Just under 350

6) How many guests actually attended your wedding?
MORE than the 250 we expected & had told the reception to plan for! :-)

7) How long did you wait to tie the knot after your proposal?
10 Months

8) What did you do in the morning before your wedding?
I had all my bridesmaids come over to my parents' house, and we hung out while getting our nails and hair expertly done by best friends of our family who own a salon & spa.

9) Did you have any wedding day disasters/fiascos/complications?
The guy who was supposed to come do my make-up (he's a professional make-up artist & *was* a good friend; he did my make-up gorgeously for my bridal portriat shoot) didn't show up. Ever. We put off pics waiting for him for almost an hour! I didn't flip out, though; I just told all my bridesmaids to give me whatever make-up they had and did it myself! (So THERE, Stanley!!! :-P)

10) What song did your bridesmaids walk down the aisle to?
"Highland Cathedral" - complete with an amazing bagpiper, organ, drum, & chimes! The only thing that made me bawl at my wedding was that incredibly gorgeous song. It still makes me cry... Here's what it sounds like. [Don't watch - just listen. :-)]

11) Did your father walk you down the aisle?
No, he had passed away 5 years earlier. My brother walked me down the aisle in his Navy dress blues!

12) What color were the bridesmaid dresses & what did the groomsmen wear?
My bridesmaids wore gorgeous iridescent blue-purple dresses undersewn with pink satin and the groomsmen wore white tie tuxes

13) Who was your Maid Of Honor/Best Man?
Maid of Honor: Wendy McGuire
Best Man: Adam Phelps

14) What type of limo did you get?
Type? I don't know - they were white. Ask JB; he would know.

15) What was your first dance song?
"At Last" - Etta James

16) What flavor was your wedding cake?
Almond pound cake filled with raspberries & white chocolate ganache and iced with the smoothest buttercream icing I have ever tasted - the most delicious cake I have ever put in my mouth. EVER. The top was even amazing on our 1-year anniversary, and no one ever thinks that!

17) Did you party at your reception or spend the whole time greeting guests?
Both! We didn't have a receiving line, b/c it would've taken forever, so we chatted as much as we could while still partying. I danced and danced! Fave songs I remember: "Brown-Eyed Girl", "With This Ring", & "Carolina Girls".

18) Where did you go on your Honeymoon?
Pink Sands on Harbour Island, one of the out islands of the Bahamas

19) How did your guests wave you off from your reception?
With big sparklers! The picture of us walking through the fireworks made Carolina Bride magazine. :-)

20) How long have you been married?
8 years today

Here's our old (wow - my web design skills have really improved in the last 8 years!) wedding website with ALL the pics and info. Ah, nostalgia!

Monday, April 12, 2010

Possible Piece of the Puzzle

I was obviously upset that we almost had a new job landed in North Carolina that we had been positively headed toward for four weeks, just to have it not pan out at the last second and us instead get a transfer away from this place where we were so content waiting until we could go home for good. I kept asking God why He would string us along like that, dangling the carrot of home in front of us with 4 weeks of positive reinforcement towards that end and then yanking it away with an unexpected alternative that feels like a punishment.

I still don't know why He's calling us to go, but I think He revealed to me a little bit of why He let the NC opportunity happen in front of this. We have been really content here, and if this transfer would have come up by itself, I think I would have dug my heels in and done everything in my power to delay it. If I couldn't have delayed it, I would have felt ripped apart from my life here in an even worse way. But since I truly thought we were getting ready to move home, I had no problem the last 6 weeks pulling out of my responsibilities here: I found someone to take over my spring session of dance classes, I met all of my Junior League requirements ahead of time, and we got another steering member to agree to step up & take over my MOPS group. It still hurts to leave - esp. church, MOPS, praise team, & my friends; but I admit, it is easier, b/c I had already begun to unplug in so many ways...

Friday, April 9, 2010

MOPS Family

My MOPS girls feel like my family here. I don't think that's just b/c I'm the leader of the group, either. There is something about women in the same stages of life coming together to vulnerably share struggles & joys that creates an instant, deep bond. I felt the same way when we last moved - it's no secret that I was overjoyed to leave the location, but the one part that got me was having to leave that MOPS group, as well. I am so thankful to be a part of an organization that provides instant support & connections like this!

My last meeting here was this morning, and that was hard. My sweet steering team gave me the most perfect book EVER: What Southern Women Know about Faith: Kitchen Table Stories and Back Porch Comfort by Ronda Rich

[Sidebar: I *do* relish being the ambassador for all things Southern during this season of life while we are living as Southern expats. ;-)]

And since I'm leaving, my secret sister revealed herself early with a bag of all of my favorite treats! Buccaneer (Trader) Joe's White Cheddar Corn Puffs & Honey Plantain Strips and fresh chocolate chip cookies = heaven! I feel so blessed.

Our speaker talked this morning on "Cultivating Contentment" - yeeeeah. Talk about timely. I'm going to take a lot of what she said with me as I mold my attitude about this move. No, I don't want to go. Not a single member of this household wants to; I think we've all cried over it. I hate having to be the reluctant cheerleader for Will, who will not stop vocalizing how much he doesn't want to go, which forces me to have to try to get him excited & reassure him it will be OK, (even though I'm totally not excited, myself.) But for whatever reason, this is God's plan for right now, so I'll actively work on not being negative. I will stick to my promise to do a positive blog post on moving sometime soon as my action in working toward my personal contentment!

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Joyce: "God’s Answers for Weariness"

Y'all know Joyce Meyer is my favorite spiritual teacher, and WOW is she speaking to me this week!!!!! She's doing a series on The Cure for Stress, and yesterday & today, she's been talking about finding rest & joy when the storms of life come at us and changing our approach at life & circumstances so we can get rid of all weariness. You can watch it here. (If you're coming to this link several days after I've posted, scroll across the squares at the bottom of it to find "04/06/2010 God’s Answers for Weariness - Part 2") You can also download her podcasts on iTunes, (links on the right side bar here.)

I've loved the last two days so much, I was wondering what she had ahead to add to it. So excited for the next week:

April 7 – 8
Nothing Is Outside of God’s Control
Nothing is too big for God! Discover what you can do when life’s problems seem too overwhelming to fix.

April 9 – 10
Give Your Soul A Vacation
Do you know what it means to enter the rest of God? Find out how you can live in peace instead of worry and anxiety.

April 12
Eat the Cookie…Buy the Shoes
Struggle with feeling guilty every time you do something for yourself? Discover the importance of treating yourself every once in a while.

(FYI - I'm not in marketing for Joyce Meyer Ministries or anything. I just LOVE her teaching and have learned so much about getting over myself to be happier from her!)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Easter Snakes & Resurrection Rolls

Our Easter was rather quiet, in more ways than one. I have a nasty cold, complete with laryngitis. (It is *not* a good week for this!!!) The Easter bunny did hop by, though:

And we did still make it to church, (which I cried most of the way through - moving away from NCC is going to be the hardest part of this.)

After lunch, we soaked up the spring warmth along the riverwalk. I know this may gross some of y'all out, but our household has really gotten obsessed with snakes this last year. (Annelise had fever-induced hallucinations about snakes just over a year ago, so ever since then, we've really made an effort to show her there's nothing to be afraid of, that they don't want to try and "get" us.) We love watching nature shows, and there just happen to be brown water snakes that often sun themselves on the rock banks along the riverwalk when it's warm. Yesterday we saw the first two snakes of the spring, and that was a *happy* thing. :-P

At Sunday School yesterday morning, Will also got the same "Resurrection Rolls" recipe I had found & posted. He was so excited for them, and I thought, "Why not? They don't just have to be for breakfast, and Easter's not over!" Since we live in "something's always open" America, we just stopped at the grocery store on the way home from the riverwalk to get crescent rolls & marshmallows. It was AWESOME!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Hope & Recipe

I wish I would have come across this Easter breakfast recipe *yesterday* instead of after breakfast this morning!!! But next year, for sure!

Sandra Curtis shared this devotional that touched my heart so deeply this Easter:

God comes to us when we are left holding our head in our hands - when the things lost or left undone overwhelm us. There are moments even for the most devoted followers of God when hope seems hard to come by. The story of the resurrection is one of being surprised by God in our darkest hour. God shows up when we imagine we have been deserted or forgotten.

When God sends messages of hope and love they tend to show up in people. What do we say when the people around us have suffered tremendous loss? Perhaps nothing. Maybe we just show up and bring God's love with us. We go back to Maundy Thursday's lesson and do small things with great love. Then we remember that hope and resurrection are God's work.

If we know the Easter story, we can count on being surprised by God showing up even in the darkest hour in our own lives and in the lives of those we love. When the women arrived at the tomb to care for the Jesus that they loved, God was there waiting for them. They were amazed and surprised by love.

Great Comforter, bring the spirit of Easter joy and love into my life. When the hour is dark, give me the gift of faith and help me find a way to move forward and be a presence of hope. Help me to know that your resurrection brings peace to me in every hour of my life. Amen.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Material Obsessions

I'm not a big shopper. I love nice things, but I'm so cheap that I very rarely ever pull the trigger & buy anything. I'm the girl who walks around the store holding something for ages just to put it back at the last second. Every once in a rare while, though, I get to go shopping with a BFF (or my mom) who gets me excited at the prospect of getting something(s) nice for *me*. (I'd spend $30 on the kids before I'd spend $10 on myself, you know?) When these random occasions pop up, I kind of get on a giddy little kick, and I want to share what I like with EVERYONE!!! :-P

Here are my current obsessions:

I want this pineapple luminary from Slatkin & Co. (in Bath & Body Works)
I never burn candles, b/c I don't like the idea of kids + open flames, but this speaks to me! And of course, as a good Southerner, I love that the pineapple is our symbol for hospitality!

I'm also obsessing over rings. My girlfriend took me to Coach to have my fraying purse sent in for free repair. (I always knew they did something like that, but I'd never actually stepped up and taken advantage!) While there, I fell in love with their Daphne Flower Ring:

It is soooo me: gold with purple, pink, & blue stones = my ultimate color palette! I think I own maybe 2 tops that wouldn't go with it! It's more $ than I want to pay, though, so we went on a misson yesterday to find a cheap version. #1 - after 9 stores, we came up totally empty. #2 - I had NO IDEA I have "thin" fingers! Standard costume jewelry ring sizes seem to all be 7 & 8, and they slide right off me. I'd even have to order a 6, if I were to break down this month & get it from Coach. I just had no idea. My fingers have always looked so stubby to me, which is why I always try to keep my nails long.

I also like this Jardin Ring:
from a company called Stella & Dot. The dogwood is NC's state flower, and it always makes me think of home. One of my Junior League friends was wearing a dogwood ring this year, and I have been hunting diligently for an affordable gold one ever since.

I'm really not a big jewelry switcher, either, (just like I carry one purse for years & years before I ever buy another,) but that also means I'm loyal to wearing the stuff I *do* get for ages, too. Maybe it's worth it?

Crushed at His Feet

Some of y'all know, we had a job opportunity that we were pretty excited at the prospect of fall through at the very end this week. For whatever reason, God didn't see it as the right fit for us. Of course, I totally don't understand why not, but I'm not Him, either. Pretty sad. Especially since we still have to leave a place that we otherwise love for a disappointing alternative...

Several of my friends have commented that I am handling it so well. Eh, the "calm & collected" is pretty much an act. Partly faking it, partly praying that if I keep acting like this that I'll truly start to feel that way in my heart...

We have major hope for other things in the future, and as ALWAYS, I'm praying so hard for them to happen; but right now I really just feel like a limp rag doll at God's feet. I know if we're not ready to get our dream right now, we won't. And that kills the human part of me who doesn't want to wait until I've learned any more tough lessons, you know? Guess it's pretty fitting for Maundy Thursday & the eve of Good Friday, though... I prayed so hard for God to take this cup from me, but it's just not His plan at this point.

In the meantime, I am praising God that #1, JB actually has a job, and #2, that I'm with a BFF this week over the kids' Spring Break who really understands what it feels like to live this. (Her husband gets moved around the same way all the time, and she's just as far away from her fam as I am.) It's good not to be at home alone crying on my couch, and instead, be here to make the week happy. I'm so thankful for that!