Unplugged
I've been waiting on pins & needles all day to hear back from our neighbor about babysitting Thursday night, so that we can have a RARE date night to go to the movies with a few of our friends to celebrate JB's birthday. Every other couple has their sitter confirmed.
I have anxiety issues with scheduling sitters and have since the beginning. Will was such a non-stop nursing-to-sleep handful his entire first year; I knew how stressed out *I* got when he wouldn't go down, (it took FOREVER every! single! night!) and I couldn't imagine how insane it would drive someone who wasn't personally invested in his life. I wasn't worried that the babysitters would harm Will or that he wouldn't make it through the time without me; I have never felt like I couldn't leave my baby because of anything *I* was feeling. With Will, I was just worried that the sitter wouldn't be able to deal with getting him down without me nursing him. I babysat from the time I was 12 to 22, and I remember how frustrating it feels when nothing you do will help, b/c you're not the Mommy.
I finally gave in and got our first random, previously-unknown sitter for a meeting one night when Will was just barely 1. We had no family in Georgia, and my mom couldn't come visit, but it was the niece of trusted friend who actually watched Will while I taught dance for an hour 3 days a week. She knew Will, she obviously knew her niece, she was very confident about the situation, and she was right around the corner, just in case. I picked up this quiet high schooler, showed her everything, & left. When I returned, she said everything was fine, that he was a little fussy eating, but that was it. The next day at dance, my friend chuckled and asked if her niece had told me that she called her to come help. WHAT?!?!?! Apparently she couldn't get Will to stop wailing in his high chair, so she called her aunt to come over. My friend is the one who got him calmed down and to sleep. In the grand scheme of things, I'm certainly so glad she called my friend to come; but the fact that she said nothing & pretended like everything had been fine felt like a sinister punch in my already-apprehensive gut.
From that first shady experience on, I have had sitter scheduling anxiety. Coupled with my petrifying fear of calling people on the phone, (please text or email, instead!) you can see how this sucks for me.
As the kids get older, of course it's easier all around. We certainly no longer have issues with getting either of them to sleep, they don't have any separation anxiety, (they love it when we leave!), and we did have two awesome sitters that we got to know & adore in Michigan, who gave me hope and began to heal my burn.
But I *STILL* hate the crap-shoot feeling of having to find a sitter, and especially when it's a new one, wondering if they'll be a quiet dud like Girl #1 was. Some people are afraid of flying, others of snakes. Me - I'm afraid of scheduling sitters. (And for the record, yes – we have had another dud, so see: my angst is not completely psycho & unfounded. Those of you parents who live anywhere near your families, please thank God for that!!!)
At 7 PM tonight, while still fidgeting around like I had ants in my pants waiting for our neighbor to call back, I realized that I hadn't gotten voicemails from JB or texts from anyone since 11 AM. Weird. I hadn't thought of it earlier, b/c email & FB were updating fine on my phone. When I reset it, I got a flood of texts and voicemails...one of which was our neighbor *at 1 PM* early this afternoon, confirming that he can sit for us Thursday night. WHEW! (Also for the record – we know we like this one!)
And if my darn phone would have been working, I wouldn't have been freaking out waiting all afternoon, scared I might have to find someone else! I don't think it was the phone's fault, though. (Of course, not! My BFF is blameless! ;-)) I think God was giving me a little faith test.
It's funny how we can get ourselves so worked up when we are momentarily unplugged from our lifelines – both the physical and spiritual ones...
I have anxiety issues with scheduling sitters and have since the beginning. Will was such a non-stop nursing-to-sleep handful his entire first year; I knew how stressed out *I* got when he wouldn't go down, (it took FOREVER every! single! night!) and I couldn't imagine how insane it would drive someone who wasn't personally invested in his life. I wasn't worried that the babysitters would harm Will or that he wouldn't make it through the time without me; I have never felt like I couldn't leave my baby because of anything *I* was feeling. With Will, I was just worried that the sitter wouldn't be able to deal with getting him down without me nursing him. I babysat from the time I was 12 to 22, and I remember how frustrating it feels when nothing you do will help, b/c you're not the Mommy.
I finally gave in and got our first random, previously-unknown sitter for a meeting one night when Will was just barely 1. We had no family in Georgia, and my mom couldn't come visit, but it was the niece of trusted friend who actually watched Will while I taught dance for an hour 3 days a week. She knew Will, she obviously knew her niece, she was very confident about the situation, and she was right around the corner, just in case. I picked up this quiet high schooler, showed her everything, & left. When I returned, she said everything was fine, that he was a little fussy eating, but that was it. The next day at dance, my friend chuckled and asked if her niece had told me that she called her to come help. WHAT?!?!?! Apparently she couldn't get Will to stop wailing in his high chair, so she called her aunt to come over. My friend is the one who got him calmed down and to sleep. In the grand scheme of things, I'm certainly so glad she called my friend to come; but the fact that she said nothing & pretended like everything had been fine felt like a sinister punch in my already-apprehensive gut.
From that first shady experience on, I have had sitter scheduling anxiety. Coupled with my petrifying fear of calling people on the phone, (please text or email, instead!) you can see how this sucks for me.
As the kids get older, of course it's easier all around. We certainly no longer have issues with getting either of them to sleep, they don't have any separation anxiety, (they love it when we leave!), and we did have two awesome sitters that we got to know & adore in Michigan, who gave me hope and began to heal my burn.
But I *STILL* hate the crap-shoot feeling of having to find a sitter, and especially when it's a new one, wondering if they'll be a quiet dud like Girl #1 was. Some people are afraid of flying, others of snakes. Me - I'm afraid of scheduling sitters. (And for the record, yes – we have had another dud, so see: my angst is not completely psycho & unfounded. Those of you parents who live anywhere near your families, please thank God for that!!!)
At 7 PM tonight, while still fidgeting around like I had ants in my pants waiting for our neighbor to call back, I realized that I hadn't gotten voicemails from JB or texts from anyone since 11 AM. Weird. I hadn't thought of it earlier, b/c email & FB were updating fine on my phone. When I reset it, I got a flood of texts and voicemails...one of which was our neighbor *at 1 PM* early this afternoon, confirming that he can sit for us Thursday night. WHEW! (Also for the record – we know we like this one!)
And if my darn phone would have been working, I wouldn't have been freaking out waiting all afternoon, scared I might have to find someone else! I don't think it was the phone's fault, though. (Of course, not! My BFF is blameless! ;-)) I think God was giving me a little faith test.
It's funny how we can get ourselves so worked up when we are momentarily unplugged from our lifelines – both the physical and spiritual ones...
oh, i get myself worked up over the smallest issues when i don't get a response when i think it should come. oh the drama that ensues! i'm so glad you found a sitter for thursday! praise God! can i just tell you how much i love your blog? it makes my day reading your posts, so thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteGlad you found a sitter. I know that can be trying. And, about people on the phone...I'm right there with you, unless it's the hubby :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, Amy!!! I'm so glad you're here reading along with me!!! I love you!
ReplyDeletePhyllis - I am the same way. The only Caller ID that doesn't make my heart freeze up is JB's.