State of Us
A lot of sweet people have been asking how we're doing, and since I am the queen of introspection, of course I'm going to blog it in detail. ;-) Honestly, I am SO relishing sharing daily motherhood with *my* mom - so many women & young moms who live with their own mothers near by just completely take it for granted. This is AWESOME! No one understands me (& my emotions) like my mommy.
And OF COURSE we miss JB sooooooooo much...but - this guts me to admit - it doesn't feel like such a dramatic separation. He has worked such long hours for 4+ years, it doesn't feel that strange not to have him around; esp. when we have both LaLa & Grandaddo home with us EVERY night, it actually feels like we have more family around than ever.
But GOOD NEWS: JB's hours - at this point - are "normal"!!! Like out of there by 5:00!!!!! I am praying SO HARD this is how it stays; I told him he better fight to preserve this. :-) My biggest prayer is that this move gives us our complete family unit back. (Annelise has never known what it's like to have him not work most weekdays until after 10 PM; Will probably doesn't remember, either - he was 18 months when we left Georgia, which was the last time JB had reliable hours.) I want to get back to the point where time apart like this would *kill* me. :-) [Let me be clear: this is NOT an issue of love or devotion!!! It's just a question of what "normal" time together has devolved into.]
Having the kids out of school so early is weird and less than ideal. I want us to keep busy here and do as many interesting things as we can, b/c I won't take the "I'm bored!" song and dance ramping up early, before school is technically even out! :-P We are keeping up with Will's phonics workbooks, (he uses the "Explode the Code" series,) and his Montessori we just left is sending the next workbook he would have gotten had we stayed, so he can keep going. I want him to be überconfident starting 1st grade! Sis will go back into Montessori, so I'm really not worried about her at all.
It still doesn't feel very real to me that we're moving; it just feels like we're on a looong vacay while JB works. I haven't even seen our new house in person, you know? (I went in another house with the same floor plan in the same sub, but not the house we got.)
I'm scared next month is going to be gut-wrenching, when it sinks in that we've really had to leave Naperville AND North Carolina. I am scared of loneliness & isolation there, again. (Although if JB's hours stay changed, that will remedy SO MUCH of the sadness I felt last time there.) I did make more friends my first 3 months in Naperville than I did in 3 years in MI, though, and leaving that feels insane. Plus, here the kids are virtually living with the next-door neighbors, and they will both be crushed when they can't just go back-and-forth all day. (They even had another sleepover Friday night, and Sissy stayed over there all night, too!)
I have no clue what this new season is supposed to draw out of us... In typing this post out, I think maybe I've realized one of our big goals is to majorly focus on our family unit of four. As always, I'm sure that we're supposed to lean on God until we "get it", but it sure does hurt to think of leaving our "real life" in Naperville and our "dream life" in NC in 3 weeks...
So I'm NOT thinking about it! :-P And hopefully "real life" in MI will have a better definition with us actually being together more than just Saturday & Sunday b/t naps. :-) We are still so excited for all the adventures we want to have while we're here, too! So, yeah - we're really missing JB, but loving life here, and praying for an awesome future. See, I told you I was an open book!
And OF COURSE we miss JB sooooooooo much...but - this guts me to admit - it doesn't feel like such a dramatic separation. He has worked such long hours for 4+ years, it doesn't feel that strange not to have him around; esp. when we have both LaLa & Grandaddo home with us EVERY night, it actually feels like we have more family around than ever.
But GOOD NEWS: JB's hours - at this point - are "normal"!!! Like out of there by 5:00!!!!! I am praying SO HARD this is how it stays; I told him he better fight to preserve this. :-) My biggest prayer is that this move gives us our complete family unit back. (Annelise has never known what it's like to have him not work most weekdays until after 10 PM; Will probably doesn't remember, either - he was 18 months when we left Georgia, which was the last time JB had reliable hours.) I want to get back to the point where time apart like this would *kill* me. :-) [Let me be clear: this is NOT an issue of love or devotion!!! It's just a question of what "normal" time together has devolved into.]
Having the kids out of school so early is weird and less than ideal. I want us to keep busy here and do as many interesting things as we can, b/c I won't take the "I'm bored!" song and dance ramping up early, before school is technically even out! :-P We are keeping up with Will's phonics workbooks, (he uses the "Explode the Code" series,) and his Montessori we just left is sending the next workbook he would have gotten had we stayed, so he can keep going. I want him to be überconfident starting 1st grade! Sis will go back into Montessori, so I'm really not worried about her at all.
It still doesn't feel very real to me that we're moving; it just feels like we're on a looong vacay while JB works. I haven't even seen our new house in person, you know? (I went in another house with the same floor plan in the same sub, but not the house we got.)
I'm scared next month is going to be gut-wrenching, when it sinks in that we've really had to leave Naperville AND North Carolina. I am scared of loneliness & isolation there, again. (Although if JB's hours stay changed, that will remedy SO MUCH of the sadness I felt last time there.) I did make more friends my first 3 months in Naperville than I did in 3 years in MI, though, and leaving that feels insane. Plus, here the kids are virtually living with the next-door neighbors, and they will both be crushed when they can't just go back-and-forth all day. (They even had another sleepover Friday night, and Sissy stayed over there all night, too!)
I have no clue what this new season is supposed to draw out of us... In typing this post out, I think maybe I've realized one of our big goals is to majorly focus on our family unit of four. As always, I'm sure that we're supposed to lean on God until we "get it", but it sure does hurt to think of leaving our "real life" in Naperville and our "dream life" in NC in 3 weeks...
So I'm NOT thinking about it! :-P And hopefully "real life" in MI will have a better definition with us actually being together more than just Saturday & Sunday b/t naps. :-) We are still so excited for all the adventures we want to have while we're here, too! So, yeah - we're really missing JB, but loving life here, and praying for an awesome future. See, I told you I was an open book!
when is move-in again? and is it anywhere near your old neighborhood? can you meet up with your old MOPS group and your old momma friends?
ReplyDeleteMoving in the first weekend in June, (like the 5th, we think.) We *purposely* moved away from our old area, b/c there was a lot of negative baggage associated with life there for us. We're moving two towns away - close enough to see the few friends we want, and far enough to feel like we're getting a fresh start & letting go of that past. We will be going back to our old church, though, and I'll be going back to MOPS, so that's awesome... But it's like the saying: you can't go home, again. NOT that MI is my home, but I know not only is my MOPS group very different (lots of my friends "aged out" & lots of new moms have joined) but I have a completely different perspective, having run my own group now in IL. I just don't want to get hurt, thinking I can jump back into the 1 thing I loved there and have it not be different, b/c it will be. I only had two other momma friends there outside church, and one has gone back to school & will be gone most of the summer, so I don't want to let myself get disappointed there, either, you know? I'm really trying to manage my expectations.
ReplyDeletei got ya. when will you "age out" of MOPS? after annelise is in K? at that point, you might have a new core group of momma friends to support you. :) i'm so excited for you about a pool in your new neighborhood! :)
ReplyDeleteYep - I've got two more MOPS years left. When your youngest is 5, that's your last year. I think you're totally right, that as they get older & into more things, friends will come through their activities, too. Plus, I *really* don't think we'll be in MI very long, anyway - JB doesn't want to be there, either, and the kids are getting old enough now that we truly need to get to the area we want to settle in for them.
ReplyDeleteBut while we ARE there, come have a pool vacay with us!!!!!!!! :-D